HUMOR

We put the “pre” in adult care

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Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash. Don’t worry, that’s definitely not blood.

We’ve all been there. Trying to check into the local preschool only to be told that the cops were called. Thanks to a GoFundMe and my mother’s basement, there’s a solution.

Introducing Preschool For Everyone. Preschool For Everyone enables and empowers people of all ages to experience the joyousness of preschool without the cops. It features things you’d expect from a preschool like:

Reading
Smash your New Year’s reading goals by enjoying our wide variety of children’s literature, because you never specified length, now did you? Start out with “Shapes!” It’s just shapes. You can even pick your favorite one! Now that’s productivity. …


TECH

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Photo by Tianyi Ma on Unsplash

As data attacks and hacking become more and more prominent, people are relying on VPN apps to help them secure their IP address from prying eyes. Since security and privacy are becoming more in the spotlight, the VPN industry is becoming increasingly competitive. They’ll do anything to get a lead on their growing competition.

Free online conversion sites and other popular websites rely on advertising to make a profit, and they’ll gladly display large adverts or create redirects on their site. …


HUMOR

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Illustration by Sydney Benjamin

Using your words is an important skill to resolve conflicts, and it’s no different in nature. Say you stumbled upon a bear, and it’s ready to charge you. Don’t fret! This helpful guide will teach you how to use your words to keep yourself safe.

Avoid it in the first place

The best way to survive a bear encounter is to avoid it entirely. Bears can be very dangerous when surprised, so you’ll need to take drastic measures to alert them of your presence. Personally, I like to scream Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball,” along with other songs that used to be socially acceptable to sing in public. …


HUMOR

Bags of Crispers chips demand to be eaten
Bags of Crispers chips demand to be eaten
Illustration by Sydney Benjamin

Our Story

Thank you for choosing Crisper’s quality all-natural potato chips. By purchasing our snack, you fuel not only your stomach but also our quest for complete and total world domination.

When you buy a bag of Crisper’s crispy potato chips, you’re not just a customer; you become part of our family. We love you with all of our heart, and all we ask is that you continue your undoubted loyalty to our brand. Just like a true family, if you betray us, we will betray you. Now we wouldn’t want that, would we?

Are you running short on time? Crispers is much more than a roadside snack. Why not eat Crispers for dinner, or for a delicious start to the day? See, with Crispers, you never have to cook. It saves time so you can spend more time on what matters: your new family. …


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Kon Karampelas / Unsplash

On Friday July 31st, Trump announced that he planned to ban TikTok from the United States as soon as August 1st. The president stated he was concerned about the lack of security measures the app had in place, and how Chinese governments could have harvested data over time.

"As far as I’m concerned were banning them from the United States." — Donald Trump, 45th president of the United States

Some speculate that Trump wanted to ban the app as a trend on TikTok went viral, encouraging teens to book seats for his rallies by requesting tickets via his website, and leave the seats empty. Trump's Tulsa rally ended up being at less than half capacity. …


A woman wears a mask
A woman wears a mask
Peri Stojnic / Unsplash

Anti-maskers are all too common in the United States, especially in lesser populated areas where they cannot see the effects of COVID-19 first hand. After extensive research on their beliefs through popular anti-mask hashtags on Twitter, here are their fundamental points for why they will not wear a mask, debunked using highly reliable and scientific sources.


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Attr: Jordan Geiger

Every year, my school hosts three five day field trips. These trips range from unbelievable ventures in Acadia National Park to trips that the school clearly ran out of budget for, like hosting an impromptu play in a library’s basement.

I was on the bike trip, a trip that all freshmen were required to go on. The bike trip used to circle a nearby lake — a trip where kids never came back the same. Even though there were never any severe injuries on the loop, the faculty changed the location of the field trip.

Now, the trip takes place on a peaceful flat bike path in Canada, where nothing could go wrong. Each adventure has faculty members to guide the students. On my trip, I had my Chemistry Teacher, the Dean of Students who was new to the school, and the School Receptionist, who also runs the yearly school plays. …

About

Jordan Geiger

Hey, I’m a 16 year-old from Vermont who loves writing humorous and informational pieces on Medium.

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